On Being a Hero – Ep. 167

In this episode, Dr. Jade talks about the dynamics of being a hero every day. We all go through a journey in life where we find ourselves having to prove we “can do it” all the time. Also, human beings deal with problems constantly, are constantly feeling pressure from the external environment, and sometimes face extreme difficulties such as being on the streets, having addictions, suffering abuse, etc.

Making a parallel with a personal story, Dr. Jade questions what is like to be a hero, what it means to be a hero, and how to recognize the virtues of one. The things that happen to us – the good and the bad – make us a victim or a hero and we have the opportunity to choose which one we will embody. Life can take us on tortuous paths but it’s important to remember that wherever we are, there is always a chance to be a hero, right?

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TRANSCRIPTION:

Podcast Intro: [00:14] welcome to the Next Level Human Podcast. As a human, you have a job to do. In fact, you have four jobs; to earn and manage money, to attain and maintain health and fitness, to build and sustain personal relationships, to find meaning and make a difference. None of these jobs are taught in school and that is what this podcast is designed to do. To educate us all on living our most fulfilled lives through the mastery of these four jobs. I'm your host, Dr. Jade Teta and I believe we are here living this life for three reasons and three reasons only; to learn, to teach and to love. In this podcast, I will be learning, teaching, and loving right along with you. I'm grateful to have your company; here is to our next level.

Episode Intro: [01:18] welcome to the next level human show everybody. Today, I am going to be talking about something that came up on my walk the other day that turned into a really educational experience for me. And I hope it will be perhaps interesting for you, who knows if it will be educational, but hopefully it will, again, get us thinking and this is really into the getting into the realm of personal development. Again, we are going to do some of the next level human work now. And actually, I'm just gonna turn on my lights. So there's slightly better lighting in here. For those of you who are watching on YouTube or video. Let's just set this up really quick. And actually, there are new lights too. So you know, when you get something new, and you want to try it out, and you want to see how they work. They're the sort of portable lights that I bought. And I want to be able to use them and travel with them. But I also want to see if they can last a whole podcast because oftentimes when you get these kind of portable lights, they do really well for a while, and then they burn out. But that's an aside. So if you're watching this on video, and then all of a sudden the lights go out, you know that my new purchase did not work out so well. So anyway, so let's talk about this what happened on my walk? And really, I guess this podcast episode would be, you know, on being a hero, right? It's, it's really this idea. And it really came out of? Well, it's interesting, right? When we think about life, sometimes I don't know about you all. But oftentimes, when I'm going through my life, I'll be working on a project, or I'll be writing about things or I'll be thinking about certain things. And then what ends up happening is because I am processing things in that direction, then I begin to perceive a lot of what's out in the world, in relation to that problem, or that thought process that I've been having. Right? So a lot of times people call this the law of attraction, I call it the law of recognition, I oftentimes describe this as, you know, through the analogy of buying a new car, so I always use the red Tesla. So if you all of a sudden were like, you know what, I think I'm gonna get a Tesla. And I want that, I want to think I want to get one in red. Right? A lot of people think that, you know, the universe is, you know, sort of bringing this stuff to and it appears out of nowhere. But the truth is your brain once you put your mindset on something, the red Tesla, your brain, all of a sudden goes and has that as an awareness and then looks out in the world and goes, Oh, look at all these red Tesla's that I didn't notice before. So they kind of they didn't pop into existence, the way the law of attraction might, you know, think they do, but they, you know, sort of pop more into awareness. They were there all the time, they didn't appear by magic, right? So I call this the law of recognition. And so lately in my writings with the next level human manuscript, and just my note taking and my process, when I'm in my creative space is, I read a lot, I take a lot of notes, I just process a lot of stuff. I have lots of conversations with close friends in the direction of the things I'm writing and thinking about and reading about. And then I put pen to paper or put out content in relation to that, or maybe it just stays with me and it's just something that doesn't ever turn into a creative process, but it oftentimes does. And one of the things that happened to me the other day, as I'm walking in Asheville, there's a parkway called the reed Creek Greenway, and I live right near that. So it's like right out my back door and this is why I go walk and oftentimes, you know Asheville is a really beautiful place and just like Santa Monica and you know, probably like a town you live in. There's lots of Homelessness, and the homelessness situation has been on the rise. I think over the last few years, and certainly that's the case in Asheville, and certainly was the case of Santa Monica when I was there. And there's oftentimes homeless individuals along the reed Creek Greenway and what's interesting about the Asheville homeless is, they're not nearly as in your face. Matter of fact, a lot of them kind of keep to themselves and don't really say much. And they're oftentimes because Asheville has a lot of cover and greenery. And it's not necessarily least read the read Parkway, there's lots of places for them to kind of hang out and sleep and you know, kind of not be in the public eye. But anyway, as I'm walking, I oftentimes see them and I'm one of these people that my philosophy is that it's not about what they're doing, or if they're addicted, or what their story is, I'm more come from the place that we all have pain, we all have value, everybody, no matter your life, circumstance has value. And I like to acknowledge people's humanity always. And I hope that they acknowledge mine. So one of the things I always like to do, because I noticed people when they deal with homeless individuals, they oftentimes for many reasons, they you know, it's not always a negative thing, almost always, it's not, I think, I think we just don't want to be bothered, maybe we don't have money. You know, if we gave money to every person that asked us, I mean, we would have no money ourselves, it can be annoying, you know, many people have different opinions about the homeless, but my opinion is that I'm a humanist. And so every human to me has value and something to teach, and has the capacity to do good. And everyone's fighting a battle, and including us, and we don't know their stories. So oftentimes, I run into homeless people. And my practice is to always try to at least acknowledge them, especially if they talk to me. Now I'm one of these people is oftentimes listening to a book and I'm absorbed in my own world. So I oftentimes miss what's going on around because I'm very creative and listening to things. And this time I'm walking, and this young guy, probably, I don't know, mid to late 20s is kind of waving at me, you sitting over off the Greenway in like a little green area patch. And he's waving at me, as if he kind of knows me. And kind of like, he knows me, and he's flagging me down. And I realized after I talked to him, and I'll tell you about the compensation we had, that we had, it had interaction before. So he really was waving at me as like, oh, hey, I remember you. And so I took my headphones off. And, you know, he was a distance from me. And I said, hey, man, what's going on? And he goes, he goes, you have a second talk. So I was like, sure, you know, I wasn't in a hurry. I was kind of walking my dogs and, you know, kind of walked over to him. And of course, like any homeless person, he looks disheveled. He's, you know, he actually was trembling, shaking, right? So, of course, in my mind, I'm like, Oh, poor guy. He's like, you know, coming off some drug or something from the night before. And it's obvious that he had slept, you know, relatively nearby. And he had things like a bike and you know, his personal belongings and stuff like that. But what was really kind of interesting about this is that this conversation really was a beautiful conversation for me and kind of was like the perfect thing to have happened to me that morning. And oftentimes life gives these little coincidences, and serendipity is right. And so I'm walking and he calls me over and I go over, and I'm like, how's it going, man, and we don't know each other's names yet, but I recognize that I recognize him that we had been around for the last few days. And I had said hi to him a couple times. And he immediately kind of got self conscious and you can see him as like, not able to directly look me in the eye and now that I'm looking him in the eye and walking right over to me and I'm really sorry, I'm really sorry, man. But I just needed someone someone to talk to me. I just, I just needed someone to talk to me. I'm kind of freaking out. So I looked at him. I said, are you okay? Because I can see he's, you know, shaking. I said, are you okay? Like, you know, if are you are you hurt? Or you know what's going on? He goes, Nah, man. It's not that's just my brain. I'm so anxious. And I just need, I just need someone to talk to me. Which is was immediately surprising to me, right? Because normally when you get called over by a homeless person, you know, they're gonna ask you for something. He wasn't he was asking me for something. But he wasn't asking me for money. And this was sort of interesting, and I didn't have any money on me anyway. And so my intention was okay, he's gonna ask me for money, and I'm just gonna talk to him. And that's what we His intention was to. So we had a, our intentions matched up I was just like, I'm just going to show him a kindness. I'm gonna show him I'm not afraid of him. I'm gonna show him that he's human. I'm human. And he called me over and I'm not going to ignore him and act like he doesn't exist. So I walk over to him and he essentially says that and I'm like, dude, what's up, man? Are you okay? And I just at this point, one of the things I've kind of learned about humans, I'm sure you have too, you know, is this idea that, you know, humans, oftentimes, the thing that's most important to us is just to be acknowledged, we really want our, our experience to be acknowledged, you know, to have people look at us and be like, you matter, you're human, I see you. That's kind of the first thing, right? I mean, like, just above all else. So that's kind of what we want other humans to do, we do want to be seen and at least acknowledged for our humanity. And here's someone that I don't think gets that very often. And through this conversation, as I go through this conversation, and talk about being a hero, we, you know, we, you, we, you and me, and everyone listening to this can kind of play around with this idea. So when I asked him if he's okay, what does he need? And he goes, I just need some advice, man, I just need some advice, which again, is kind of interesting, right? Because, you know, this is not a typical conversation, you're gonna have the homeless person, someone say, hey, can you come over here and give me some advice? And I was like man, I mean, if I can, and he basically. So what he said is he proceeded to tell me a little bit of his story. He goes, you know, coming off, like alcohol, I'm shaking. And I said, because I said, he goes on coming off, he goes, I don't, I'm shaking, I said, are you on something? Like, are you going through withdrawals, and he goes, its alcohol. So for me not knowing what you know, I'm kind of ignorant to this kind of stuff didn't really do a whole lot of drugs. I did work in a clinic in Seattle with a lot of, you know, the homeless population. So I've seen withdrawals, but I had never seen like that, you know, when you're coming off alcohol. And one of the things that he was saying to me is, he's like, I just need some advice, because I know, I need a little alcohol to like, get to get me to stop shaking. But I also know if I have more just, you know, keeps me, you know, in this, this pattern, and, you know, you know, what should I do? And he's asking me, and I'm saying, I've never, I've never been alcoholic, you know, I've never, you know, I have a medical background and have certainly worked with addiction, you know, indirectly, but it's just not my specialty. But I was like, so what do you mean, haven't you gone through this before? And, you know, so it sounds like you know what to do, but what he said he was? No, I'm just asking, like, do you have any advice for like my life? Now, that question, is something that I'm like, isn’t that ironic? Because that's the kind of work I do, right? I absolutely do that kind of work, you know. And so it turned into this discussion of here's somebody who I guess, is going through this very anxious state, he's kind of going through alcohol withdrawals. And he's just like, you know, I don't know what was going through his mind. But he's obviously upset with himself and beating himself up and feeling like a failure and told me a little bit about his dilemma. And in the days previous, he had talked to his father and his grandfather, and his grandfather basically told him, he was, you know, a fuckup. And like, wasn't ever going to mount anything and was an alcoholic, and he had a job, and he was living in an apartment. And as he telling me his story, he starts going, I had this job and I was living, I finally had this apartment, but there was mold on the wall and this and that he was telling me this story. But what was interesting to me is that it seemed to be the trigger for him was this conversation where his grandfather kind of subtly said to him, you know, you're a fuckup. And I'm sure his grandfather was trying to help him be better. But it seemed like that was the thing that was really bothering was really bothering him. And so then, as I listened to his question, well, he's been on the street a while. His name's Jordan. Been on the street a while and I find out he travels kind of all over the place, mainly around his family's families from the western North Carolina Mountains. But he's he travels to different cities, he does have a bike and it's with him as I'm talking to him and he kind of travels around. So sometimes he's in Knoxville, sometimes he's in Greenville, South Carolina, most of the time he spent in these little towns surrounding these bigger towns. And part of the reason he was telling me he does that is because, you know, some of the things I learned a lot about actually talking to him about how to be on the streets. You know, he was telling me and by the way, I don't know that this is true, because I didn't vet any of this information. So you know, take it with a grain of salt, but some of the things he was telling me is that when you go to certain towns, you have to find places to stay, you have to procure food, you know, sometimes he asked for soup foods, sometimes he digs through garbage and stuff like that. And he goes, you know, you get a sense of which restaurants throw out food and you know, when they throw it out, you get a sense of when you know what restaurants have foot traffic where you can ask for people you get a sense of that kind of stuff in which garbage cans have the food and that kind of stuff and you also get a sense of where to sleep, but I didn't realize that, you know, cops, you know, tend to arrest the homeless, you know, and will kick them out and of certain places. And I guess I shouldn't have been so naive, but you know, it seems like a pretty cops are pretty lenient with, you know, people in Santa Monica anyway, and that you can even get a ticket, you know, for being homeless and being a vagrant, and it's like literally a ticket that costs you money, which obviously he can't pay. So he gets these tickets and essentially throws them away. But anyway, he was telling me all this stuff about, you know, how he manages, when he's on the street and how he's learned to live on the street and how, you know, it's, you know, it's a whole skill set, at least in my mind, I'm thinking it's a whole skill set. So as he's talking to me, because I first told him, Look, tell me about your life, you know, I'm just talking to him. And he's asking for my advice about what to be. So this is where we get into being the hero. And this is what's interesting about how life works sometimes. So I've been playing around in my life, my life right now. And in my writing in my creative pursuits, the idea of victim versus hero, and this shift that everyone has to make of being a victim versus being a hero. And so the advice I gave him began to look at this idea. And I started to talk to him about this. So before we get back to Jordan, and the invite the advice I gave him, and by the way, I asked him for advice, too, because it's something I believe is very important to do, especially with someone in Jordan's position, because he feels powerless, and he feels like a worthless human. And you can see it in the way he's interacting with me. The first thing that I did to hopefully help him was just see his humanity and show up and realize, you know, my also I realized what an asshole lion that I think he's going to ask me for money, and, but he's actually asking me for help. And all he's doing is asking me for advice, right? So isn't it interesting that I'm walking up being like, I'm gonna have to tell him, I want money, but I'm just gonna acknowledge him. And now it's turning into a conversation. And then I asked him for advice when I after I gave him my advice, and I'm gonna tell you what I told him and what he told me. And I think that's important because it actually says, not only do I acknowledge you as a human, but I also believe you have value and can teach me something. So you asked me my advice. Let me ask you yours. And I'll get to that in a minute. But let me give you a little bit of background on the victim hero sort of dynamic that I've been working on in my creative pursuits. One of the things that I'm sort of finding is that whenever we humans go through our own hero's journey, and I would say we all go through our hero's journey, things happen to us. We all have pain and suffering and fears and failures. And we have to deal with that. What a victim mentality does is it tries to blame the pain on someone else and or outsource the solution to that pain to someone else. So in other words, a victim has something happened to them, and then throws it in someone else's face blames, or complains about what happens or expect someone else to solve the pain. And this, of course, keeps them in victim mindset in victim mode. Now, this is a really hard thing for all of us. Right? Because, again, victims are oftentimes victims, I don't know, Jordan’s story, I'm sure a big part of it is the choices he's made. But I also don't know what's happened to him. Has he been? You know abused, raped, beaten, whatever? Had things happen to him? You know, is he mentally challenged? Like, what is he sick in the head? Like, what? I don't know what has happened to him. But I also know I'm sure like all of us, there are things that have happened to us. And there are choices we make in regard to what happens to us. So from my perspective, the victim makes the choice to blame and complain, which is normal to a degree, right? I mean, certainly we wouldn't blame anyone who's had hardships and, you know, had really bad things happen to their in their lives to want justice and fairness and to be acknowledged and to blame and complain, there's a time and a place to be angry at her and to express that. But what happens with victim is victim stays in that mindset, they get stuck in blame complaint, it becomes part of their identity. And when that happens, it's not to say they're bad or we can't feel sorry for them. It's to say that there's only one solution. That person has got to eventually take responsibility for themselves because we all know what it's like to continue trying to help someone who refuses to make the choice to help themselves or to even see that there is a choice and victims oftentimes don't even see that there is a choice to be and do something else.

[23:34] and let's get back to the show. And so victim gets stuck into that mode. And so I've been playing a lot with that. And to me, the hero is not someone that you know is someone that saves themselves to save others. And that's the difference. A hero is not someone that just saves themselves. A hero is someone who saves themselves and saves others and to say it better. They eventually saved themselves to save others, they start to see that their experience their pain, their feels, their fears, their failure, their hurt, can either degrade them and make them perpetuate the pain themselves or others or get past the pain. And it reminds me of one of my favorite quotes which goes the point of evil is not to harm you the point of evil is to make you do more evil. And I think very clearly that as much as we can feel sorry for people that when you become the victim. That's the whole point of evil in a sense, right the point of and by the way, I think a lot of you know my beliefs I'm agnostic so I'm not speaking of even evil in terms of God and devil I'm speaking of evil in terms of our capacity to be hurt and deal with the pain and suffering that we humans have to endure by living and then passing that pain on. When you pass your pain on to other people to me that's evil and in my Mind, getting stuck in the victim mentality is one step towards evil and one step away from good, and beauty. And this is what I'm playing with in my writing. And then I run in into Jordan. And so Jordan as he's anxious and blaming and complaining, mostly it seems himself and beating himself up for this addiction he has that he's gotten himself into, and also lamenting, and being sad and heard about what his father and his grandfather have said to him, he's essentially asking my advice about what to do. And he's not asking about how he gets over the DTS, you know, the tremors that can come as you go through alcohol withdrawal, and that sickness that can come that can be life threatening, which is for those who don't know, oftentimes, when you're in that state, you know, it can be a dangerous situation for people if he just stays out on the street. And so, you know, taking responsibility for himself may actually be getting more alcohol and a slight a little bit more alcohol on the system. And it sucks as a solution, because he knows that probably perpetuates the addiction. And matter of fact, he was smart enough to know that he did say that to me. But the point is, being stuck in victim is one step closer to beginning to do harm to others. The blaming and complaining game means you're saying I am going to just give up any responsibility that I might have. And hope pray, be angry about complaining about the fact that no one's coming to my aid. And the fact of the matter is, if you just look at that, and we all know this, if you wait for other people to do it for you, it will never it can, it may never happen. And eventually, even if they do come and help, which I believe we should I believe as a human, there's many people that God want to see someone get up on their feet first, then I'll help, I believe we should help first and then see if they get back on their feet. Right? To me, it's like you give a hand first, then you see if they rise to the occasion. And if you keep giving help, and they keep making the choices back then maybe you go I'm not going to help anymore. But to me, I'm gonna help first, vet second, many people are vet first help second. Now, I'm not going to use judgment there. I do have a whole philosophical podcast, maybe it's another podcast I could do why helping first is the best approach, if you really care about helping, that's the best approach. But this victim idea is where Jordan was, it's where a lot of us are. And we can see this even in a lot of our culture, right? There's this thing now this extreme individualism, in our political discussions on the right there sort of this the conservative, right in the United States, there's sort of this pick yourself up by your bootstraps kind of thing, you got to take responsibility for yourself, which I absolutely agree with. And on the left, right, there's this idea of like, my experience is valid, you should acknowledge it, and you should, you know, have the decency to see me and try to, you know, you don't have to change your life. For me, I know a lot of people think that's what it is. But what people are really asking for is, my experience is just as valid as yours, don't be prejudiced against me, or don't disparage me or dehumanize me, or act as if I'm not on this planet with you. And that's on the other side. But what ends up happening is you're an extreme individualism and you're like, pick yourself up by your bootstraps, you might never want to help anybody. So in a sense, you can't be a hero if you're doing that, right, because you're just taking care of yourself, and, you know, forget everybody else. However, if you're on the other side, and you're like, acknowledge me, acknowledge me, acknowledge me, you know, my, it's kind of like saying, My pain is most important, not realizing that everybody has pain, and plenty of people make the choice with that pain to pick themselves up, dust themselves off and move on with their lives. And they know they have to take care themselves. So there's this thing that happens here. And in a sense, I think neither is appropriate. But I do think we have to move from victim to hero. So then how do we do that, and this is the advice that I was essentially giving to Jordan. And from my perspective, what Jordan misses and people who are victim miss is that their very pain is the path to purpose. In other words, their pain is the path to hero. Their hurt is the path to hero. Their pain is the path to perfect their suffering is a source of meaning. This is the first thing that a next level human or someone who's aspiring to spend most of their time in the next level human state has to understand that their pain, their suffering is not unique. It is not unique, and that victim and staying in a victim state of blaming and complaining and forcing people to acknowledge you and you know, they have to bow to the altar of your pain does not serve you and doesn't serve society. And the first recognition is Wait a second I can I can use my pain as a path to purpose, I can use my suffering and situation as a source of meaning I can use my hurt as the jumping off to hero. And this was the advice that I essentially said. And I said to him, because he shared with me something that I wouldn't have felt comfortable sharing someone, hey, look, I'm an alcoholic, and I don't know the guy for many. Now I'm an alcoholic, I'm addicted is what he's telling me. That's an embarrassing thing.

[30:31] So the first thing I said, as I said, first, I just want to tell you, man, you're incredibly courageous, and you're incredibly brave, I would not know what to do out here on the streets, I would not know how to do any of what you just told me you do, it would scare the shit out of me, I would feel lost, I would feel completely vulnerable, who knows what I would turn to or what I would do, I've never had to do that. And I can't even fathom it. So I don't know if I would try to commit suicide or seek an outlet in drugs, or, you know, I don't know what I would do because I've never had to do it. Now, I would hope that the Honor Code I have built for myself would say no matter what I will give my life and never harm another human being. And I will not go and do destructive things to myself or others. And certainly I don't think Jordan was the kind of person from talking to the him. I don't know, by the way that has done harm to others, but he's certainly doing harm to himself. And part of what I was trying to get him to see is that think about how courageous and brave you've been. And first of all, the reason I'm doing that is because again, humans oftentimes need to when they're at their weakest, they need to outsource strength. So they do need to lean on other people. And the people who allow them to lean to others to lean on them for time are some of my favorite humans in the world and some of the type of humans we all love. But at some point, that person has to get away from victim and move into Hero mode. But they oftentimes don't know how and Jordan didn't know how. And so one of the things I said do you see how brave and courageous you are? Can you see that this would really scare me? And it's really interesting, because his demeanor kind of changed once I said that as it would right because you get this insight. Certainly he's only human, just like all of us. I'm giving him a when I'm helping him see something that he didn't see it in himself until I reflected it back to him. And then the second thing I said is, do you also see that you can set your task, I know that your situation isn't ideal from your perspective and cultural perspective. And by the way, I talked to him like he was, I didn't talk down to him, I talked to him, like, he was me. Like, we were bros. I treated him like, like, we were just bros. I called him bro, like, you know, and again, we were we were actually really bonding the two of us two guys from completely different worlds as I'm walking back to my, you know, million dollar house, and he's out here in, you know, living off the woods, and it didn't, you know, it didn't get lost on me that that was, you know, sort of this weird thing. And here we are bonding as common humanity. And one of the things I said to him was, can you see that? If all of us have to find purpose for what we're doing here, and that wherever we are, and whatever situation we're in, that there's an opportunity for purpose. Of course, he didn't quite understand that because none of us do. Matter of fact, it's taken me years of sitting in deep psychology research and deep philosophical inquiries to get myself to this place. And of course, a lot of me getting myself at that place was held from philosophers and psychologists and researchers from the past. It's not me, it's, it's what I've learned from others. Again, I'm sort of leaning on others that have come before me. And one of the things I said to him and this is where the really powerful aspect of things happened. And this is the real learning for all of us in this podcast. I said, What if you understood and purpose and decided that you were going to take everything that you've been going through and turn it to teaching others? And he looked at me kind of confused? And I said, well, here's an example. I said, you have mastered living on the streets, and you're on the streets. Now, I said, how many people do you know how many people do you see who are new people who are scared and they're newly out on the street? And he's like, I see it all the time. And I said, What if you set your intention to two things, one, to going about your day, rather than looking for things just for yourself also trying to find these people who are newly on the streets. People like me if I ever ended out on up on the streets, and helping them understand where to procure food, how to find sleeping, how to find shelter, how to keep warm, what happens when it rains, all these things that you just told me in your story that people don't know. And this is when the most beautiful thing happened and gave me goosebumps and has given me goosebumps now. He all of a sudden is almost like a dawn on him. His hero mindset kicked in and I think we all have this where he literally was like, Holy shit, I can do that. I see these people all the time, I can do that. And it all immediately made him feel important. Like he had something to deliver to the world, like he wasn't a loser, like his grandfather said that he could do something of value. And the point of hero is, wherever you find yourself, there is always an opportunity to be a hero, and to walk out of the victim state and to take one on the chin and to be the human that you've always wished you could be and that perhaps Jordan was and I said this to him as a Jordan, perhaps you're here. Perhaps you are right here on the streets for that very reason. Have you ever thought about that that may be that is what you are meant to be doing? And this completely, completely changed his demeanor. Because it was something not only that, it comes deeply from his experience and his pain, he knows he can do that. And by the way, I didn't say this to Him, because of course, I would want him to get off alcohol but alcohol has got nothing to do with it, he can do this, whether he's addicted to alcohol or not. And that's the point, right? And the other point is, is that if he begins doing this, he will find something more powerful to his psyche than alcohol. So it is step one away from the addiction purpose always is the thing that can save us from addiction. It can save us from pain, it can shield us from and allow us to endure the most miserable of things. We know this from stories like Viktor Frankl, Man's Search for Meaning, and, you know, people who suffered survived through wars and concentration camps and abuse and, you know, you know, being debilitated and, you know, losing their legs, or whatever it is, we know that these people who find purpose do amazing things in the world, they all become our heroes, actually, don't they, they become the heroes that later in history, we celebrate, we may be, you know, who knows, as far as we're all concerned, Jordan might end up being someone, you know, that if you take this on, and he really does this thing, right, he may actually be something that we're all reading about one day, this guy who was on the street, who took it upon himself to help all these other people on the street, and as a result, kicked his addiction. And as a result of that, you know, found the power to be, you know, to make, you know, do something of use and happen to you know, you know, build an empire and create and get people and the other thing, by the way, I told him is that the other thing that he can do? I said, you know, people are afraid of homeless people, you just told me and he told me that he goes, people don't look at me, they don't they don't look at me. They don't acknowledge me. You know, sometimes they get mad at me insult me. And he goes, and you know, sometimes I get mad at them too, you know, and because I'm in a place, you know, and one of the things I said, as I said, the other thing you can set your intention to do, you can do one or the other or both, is look, I said, Look, you're talking to me, you're being incredibly sweet to me, You're being very kind to me, you're actually helping me understand your situation. Right? I said he didn't ask me for money, which I was worried. I was just very honest with him. I said, I was worried that you might ask me for money. And I didn't have any. And I just wanted to acknowledge you. I said, but now you've given me something. You've educated me about what it's like to live on the streets. I said, What if you also took it upon yourself to take everyone who's not homeless, who's walking their dogs like I am, who's doing whatever to make to go out of your way to do something for them, or at least acknowledge them to look them in the eye to smile to just say something nice to them, I hope you're having a good day, and not ask them for money anymore. Just give them something a compliment, a smile. I said, it might be interesting, you might actually get more of what you need from these people. And that was something that he also resonated with. I said, and what's cool about that, is in that case, you're changing people's outlook on all the other homeless people they'll meet. And Jordan did that. Right? You did that? Now, no one might know that you did this. But you'll know. And this was really powerful him for him, it took him out of the victim state into the hero state. Now, of course, you don't know. And I don't know how long that lasted. But I know you listening to this, you're human. And I know, you know, this will work for many, many people. How do you know because we've all had this experience of being in pain and suffering and hurt and everything else. And there's nothing better than the redemption story. If we feel like we've redeemed ourselves, and we can be proud of ourselves, it doesn't matter what anyone else thinks about us. And that's really what Jordan was asking, how do I redeem myself? And what I was saying is you always redeem yourself from whatever you've done wrong or your fields or your failures by leaving the victim mentality and becoming the hero and the way you become the hero is finding the pain and source of suffering that you've endured in others and solving it. That's how you make the leap from victim to hero no matter what circumstance you are in and when you do that. You allay fear you become more powerful you do become like a superhero. You will even face death, pain hardship further to further that mission, when you find something bigger and more powerful than yourself to pour your heart into that can allay fear, failure, pain, suffering, etc. And this is the conversation that as I was having with Jordan, this is how you make the leap from victim to hero.

[40:25] Now to wrap this up, what's really interesting is then I said to Jordan, what is your advice to me, and you know what he did? Now, I don't know if it if he was even aware of it. And I'm not gonna say I caused it, I'm just saying it was just so interesting to me. He proceeded to give me the insight, he turned his whole situation around and what he said, as he goes, the advice that I would give to you, Jade is that all the things that you think you need in your life, all the materialistic things, your car, your home, you know, your dog, you know, all this stuff. He goes, I don't have any of that stuff. All I have is my bike in my backpack. And, you know, he had like a little, a little radio, and in a water bottle, he's like, that's all I have. And he goes, and what I've learned is that I don't need anything else. And I'm still surviving. And there are times that I still can feel like and laugh and have joy and whatever. And he and it was really amazing to me that he started speaking to me almost like I was speaking to him. And it also dawned on me, it's like Jade, while you're not talking down to him, you still have this mentality that you're better than him, that you're more educated than him or whatever, because of my language. And then he starts talking to me, like a philosopher, and like somebody who's like, given me like, just pearls of wisdom and things that I'm just like, Damn, dude, like, you're right, I'm too attached to a lot of my stuff, I don't need all this stuff I can survive. The things that are important is that I can laugh and find, you know, presence in beauty and just sitting with nothing and not having to worry about that stuff. And here's a guy who's lived that and he's telling me that. And so in this roundabout way, he gave me the most beautiful, tangible lesson that I can then take back with me and I was just charged up. It's kind of why I'm doing this podcast. Now my sister in law, my brother are staying with me here and I immediately came back and told him oh, my God, man, I had the most beautiful encounter with this homeless guy and I'm just feel charged up for it and better for it. And it was just this beautiful connection point. And that's what I really want to leave you with, I want to leave you with, like, we have the ability, even when we're out on the street, and to find a way to jump past victim and get into hero. And when we get into Hero mode. And this purpose driven way of looking at life and setting are tasked to solving the pain around us. Rather than just complaining and blaming and saying me, me, me take care of me, then we can do beautiful, powerful things in the world. And it dawned on me that that is the next level human path. And the degree to which we can sustain that is the degree to which we are more or less next level humans in the way we show up. And so that's what I want to leave you with? And I guess I would say, think about it, because I'm going to do it to like what can we do as humans? What is going on with you right now your pain and suffering? I know you've got it. I know you got some going on in your life or something from the past that you're still not over? How can you take that pain and situation and turn it into something powerful and be the hero for yourself and others. And the final thing I'll say about hero, just remember, don't make this mistake. A hero is someone who does for self. And other a base level human is an extreme individualist. It's all about me, I don't care about anyone else. Everyone needs to pick themselves up by their bootstraps. A culture level human says I'll help the people who believe what I believe a next level human goes I will help myself and other. Right. And that's what, you know, I've been thinking about writing about and, you know, have been having in my mind the last couple weeks or so. And I was excited to learn from Jordan and be able to also pass on some lessons to Jordan. And I hope that this episode has helped you also to think about and change your mindset perception around the victim state and the hero state. All right, everybody. Thanks so much for hanging out on the next level human podcast and I will see you at the next episode.